The Trap of Potential

Why chasing potential might be the very thing keeping you stuck

A peak ahead:

• Potential sounds good, but it can keep us stuck

• How I broke the spell of potential in my career

• Five ways you can navigate the trap of potential in your life today

For years, I stayed in a role I had outgrown.

When we started CMX, I poured my heart into building something that I believed truly mattered. And it did matter. I had a great deal of conviction in our purpose and cared deeply for the people we were serving.

But somewhere along the way, I started showing up not because I felt alive in the work, but because I was attached to what it could become.

I had so many visions. Greater impact. A bigger conference. A growing team. We wanted to build a school for community professionals, a certification program, an awards program, a global network of local chapters… the visions were endless.

I’d compare us to other communities or businesses who were farther along than us and think, we’re not there yet, but we could be.

Of course, every milestone became a moving target. Like a never-ending hall of doors, I’d finally crack one door open just to find another door, heavy and bolted, waiting for me to start banging away.

“I feel stuck”

There wasn’t one big breaking point. More of a slow erosion.

I was waking up with pressure in my chest. I felt anxious, rushed, angry. I would get frustrated with others and blame them for how I was feeling.

I was creatively blocked. I craved spaciousness and inspiration, but couldn’t find it.

And even when there were moments of joy—financial stability, a team I loved, beautiful community experiences—there was also a quiet, persistent voice saying: this isn’t it anymore.

Letting go felt impossible. My identity was fused with the company. If CMX was successful, then I was enough. If it wasn’t, then maybe I wasn’t either.

And I felt a commitment to the team and the community. I’ve promised them this potential. How could I not follow through? Will that make me a hypocrite?

The pressure built within me. Eventually, the decision came to a head. My equity from the acquisition was fully vested and I had to decide. Stay or go.

There were so many voices in me saying, “Stay. Don’t risk it. Don’t walk away from a good thing. Don’t let people down.” But I also knew: there had to be more to life than this. And I wanted to find out what that was.

Potential as possibility

Potential isn’t bad. It’s beautiful, actually. It’s the part of us that imagines, that dreams, that reaches for something more. I still see potential everywhere—in my coaching clients, in the retreats we’re building with Downshift, in my creative work. I don’t want to shut that part of me down. But I’ve learned to hold it more gently now. To see it as a possibility, not a requirement.

These days, when I notice myself gripping too tightly to an imagined outcome, I pause. I ask: Am I making my self-worth conditional on this happening? Am I telling myself that I’ll only be enough if this succeeds, grows, scales, proves something? That’s usually my cue. The tighter I hold onto potential, the more disconnected I become from what’s actually here now.

And I’ve come to learn that I never want to sacrifice the aliveness of the present moment in service of a fantasy. No matter how shiny or meaningful that fantasy might seem. The present moment is the only place anything real can happen. It’s the only place where truth lives.

5 Ways to Navigate the Trap of Potential

Here are some invitations, based on what I’ve learned about navigating the trap of potential. As always, this isn’t advice, it’s an offering of experiments you might run. Try what resonates. Ditch what doesn’t.

1. Pay attention to your body.
   Before your mind catches on, your body will tell you the truth. Pressure in your chest, constant anxiety, chronic tension… these are signs you might be out of alignment. Don’t override them. Stay with them. Listen to the truth your body is trying to reveal to you.

2. Flip the risk equation.
   Most people stay stuck because they fear the risk of change. But staying the path comes with its own risks: disconnection, resentment, creative atrophy. Ask: What is the cost of staying the path?

3. Name the stories you're telling yourself.
   Are you attaching your self-worth to an outcome? Do you believe you have to “make it work” to prove you’re enough? Get curious about what narratives are running the show.

4. Use potential as a compass, not a contract.
   It’s okay to see potential. But check if you're clinging to it as an obligation. Can you hold the vision lightly, something that inspires, not imprisons?

5. Come back to the now.
   When you feel overwhelmed by what could be, drop into what is. Use a presence practice (for me that’s meditation, journaling, walks in nature) to reconnect to the truth of the present moment. That’s where real change begins.

📖 Journaling prompts:

• What potential outcomes are you attached to?

• What are you afraid will happen if you take the leap toward something new?

• What are you already losing by staying where you are?

• What signals is your body sending that you might be ignoring?

☝️One last thing: If you realize you’re feeling misaligned with work, that doesn’t mean you have to leave your company. You can do this work while staying in your seat. You may find, after deep reflection, that you do enjoy what you’re doing, and it’s just how you show up to it that needs to change. Change doesn’t always mean changing what you do. It could be an inner change that’s calling to you.

Thanks for reading!

If this article resonated, feel free to reply, comment, or forward it to someone who might need to hear it.

P.S. I’m a founder and leadership coach and community consultant. Reach out if you’d like to explore working together. I have three available slots for new clients at the moment.