How I Accidentally Became a Coach

I used to judge coaches.

I saw it as something you do when you can no longer *do*.

I was wrong.

It's strange that I'd judge coaching since, for much of my career, I've had coaches.

They've helped me navigate some of the most difficult times in my life and career.

They helped me know myself.

They held me nonjudgmentally, and acted as a trusted mirror, during times where I had no one else who could hold me, and see me, in that way.

Still, while I respected my coaches, I never saw it as a career I'd pursue.

I had this story in my head that, "Those who can't do, coach".

And that you can’t build wealth by coaching (still maybe true for most?)

Now, in a great twist of fate, I've become a full-time coach.

I didn't intend for it to happen. It was a beautiful accident.

It was a sunny and windless winter day in upstate NY.

Steven Schlafman

took me to Mohonk Preserve to hike and jam on a new community project he wanted to create.

We walked for hours, meandering through a range of topics, snow crunching under our feet. I helped him hone his vision for the community and this new life path. After a while, he paused and said, "You know, you’re really good at this."

I replied, "Thanks! This is fun. I could do this all day."

He smirked, knowing that I’ve been waiting for my next career path to emerge. "You know you just said you could do this all day, right?"

In that moment, I realized that I'd been coaching my whole life.

I've always been the one that friends come to when they have something serious they need to talk through. I've coached community members, employees, colleagues, and even bosses.

I love holding space for people to explore themselves. I love being a mirror. I love helping people find clarity, or if not clarity, then comfort in the not knowing.

In fact, a lot of what has always drawn me to community building I've also found in coaching. The conversation, helping people feel seen and understood, the relationships, the cocreation, it’s all there.

I can also see how community building helped feed my ego’s need for reputation. When you’re a community leader, you’re seen and respected widely. Coaching is much quieter. You’re an ally in the background. It’s often best if no one else even knows you’re there. You exist for the purpose of serving the client.¹

So it makes sense that as I’ve healed, and my ego has calmed, I feel less of a need to be in the spotlight and more called to be in quiet service to others, helping them through the journey I’ve been through. I’m deeply grateful to have reached this place.

My career in community started when I realized that I could be paid for the thing I was doing for fun.

Holy shit, it’s happening again.

Since that day in the woods, my coaching practice has quickly emerged in ways I never could have imagined.

I'm now coaching ten incredible humans.

My clients have naturally fallen into two buckets:

1. Community leaders navigating difficult community challenges and engaging in a journey of self-discovery (or what I call the intersection of “community work” and “inner work”)

2. High achievers learning how to downshift into a new season of life with greater presence, inner-knowing, and alignment (working directly through Downshift with Steve Schlafman)².

Both are identities I know deeply. I’ve been through what you’re going through.

The "return on energy" is high for me. I leave every call feeling more energized than when I joined.

I've found the work I'm called to do, in this season of my life.

Interested in working together?

I have two remaining 1-1 coaching slots open. I’d be thrilled to explore working with you.

I’m also kicking off group coaching for community founders. There will be 6-8 members in the group, meeting monthly on Zoom. This might be the only time I offer this.

If you’re interested in 1-1 or group coaching, hit reply or get in touch here, and tell me about where you are in your journey. We’ll take it from there!

1. I know there are versions of community leadership that align with this way of being as well. I expect I’ll explore them soon.

2. Yes, this is the project I was coaching Steve on that day in the woods. I connected with his vision so deeply, I organically became more and more involved.