My Calendar Defense System™
How I Reduced Scheduled Meetings by 90%
This week I shared how I’m designing my “dream solopreneur life” and it caused a bit of a stir.
Out of everything on that list, there was one thing that everyone focused on: the meetings.
*cue dramatic music*
I got dozens of comments and messages from people who shared their own struggles with meetings and, with a hint of desperation in their words, asked about my process.
So today, I’m going to do just that. But first, some background.
If you’re suffering from meeting fatigue, you’re not alone. Harvard Business Review surveyed 182 senior managers in a range of industries and found that:
65% said meetings keep them from completing their own work.
71% said meetings are unproductive and inefficient.
64% said meetings come at the expense of deep thinking.
62% said meetings miss opportunities to bring the team closer together.
Our bad meeting habits were exacerbated when Covid struck. We could no longer rely on serendipitous conversations or pop over to someone's desk for a quick chat. Zoom became our primary means of communication (and Slack, which is also exhausting, but that’s for another post).
We’ve dug ourselves into a meeting hellhole.
A few years ago, I found myself at the bottom of that hole. I had at least 20 hours of meetings per week, often more. I was constantly exhausted and overwhelmed at work. It affected my productivity, killed my creativity, and started to bleed into my home life. Something had to change.
It took me a long time and a lot of experimentation but I now have a delightfully clear calendar, and have reduced my average meeting time from 20 hours per week to two.
Here’s my actual, unedited calendar next week:
Ahhhhh... bliss.
A quick caveat before we dive in: As a solopreneur I have more autonomy than those of you who are working at a company. That said, I was in the startup game for the last 15 years, I know your pain, and I know my process will help you cut down your meetings by 50% or more.
Okay, let’s do this…
My Calendar Defense System is comprised of three simple rules:
Rule #1: Defer to text
Rule #2: If you can't defer to text, offer an unscheduled call
Rule #3: If you have to schedule a call, be extremely efficient
—
Rule #1: Defer to text
Any call where someone is coming to you for help, information, or anything else is a candidate to be deferred to text.
I used to say yes to anyone who asked for a quick call because I wanted to help them and felt bad saying no.
Now, if someone reaches out for advice and asks for a call, I have a standard response:
"Thanks for reaching out, and I'm very happy to help. I'm not scheduling meetings right now so that I can keep my calendar open for creative work. But I'm happy to help here over text/email. Can you send me your top three questions here?"
You can use this response with colleagues, employees, community members, and yes, even bosses!
If it’s a colleague or a boss, I recommend that you talk to them about your new focus on reducing meetings first. Let them know that you’ll aim to defer all calls to text. That way, they’re not shook when you hit them with your CDF (remember, that’s Calendar Defense System).
I guarantee you they’re also suffering from meeting fatigue and will be excited by the prospect of less meetings.
Sometimes I spend more time answering their question over text than I would have on a call, but I'm not optimizing for spending less time helping people. I'm optimizing to keep meetings off of my calendar.
What about sales calls?
I take the same approach when someone reaches out for consulting. I defer to text:
"Would be happy to explore working together. To make the best use of both of our time, would you be able to send me your top 3 challenges that you're thinking through right now, that you think you'd like help with?"
It gives me an opportunity to respond to them thoughtfully with feedback and explain how I can help them. I then share the next steps if they decide to work together right in the email.
For my two most recent clients, we didn't do a single sales call. The first time we spoke to each other was after we signed a contract, and each spent several hours going through my async onboarding audit. By the time we got on a call, we were loaded with context and dove straight into their community strategy.
Two other experiments I’m running right now:
I send a Loom video with my answers and next steps so that they get to see me, hear me, feel connected to me, but I don't have to get on a call.
I set up the ability to book a paid consulting call (using Calendly). So when someone reaches out asking to book a call to pick my brain, I tell them:
"Happy to help! I can either help for free over text if you want to shoot me your top three questions, or if you definitely want to book a call, I offer one off and ongoing consulting here."
Rule #2: If you can't defer to text, offer an unscheduled call
There are situations where I want to talk to someone.
Examples where I get on calls:
A good friend wants to catch up or asks for help
A potential client *really* wants a call to get them over the line
Someone wants to interview me for an article
Someone is neurodivergent and text-based communication is difficult for them (thanks to
for bringing this to my awareness)
In these situations, I want to talk to them, but I don't want to be on Zoom, and I don't want it to be on my calendar. So my standard response has been:
"Happy to chat! I'm not scheduling calls right now, but here's my number. Call or text me any time. I'm usually free (since I don't schedule calls!). Great times to call are 12:30-1:30 or 3:30-5:30."
I'm usually eating lunch or on a walk from 12:30-1:30, and 3:30-5:30 is when I'm handling email and other small tasks, so I'm more open to distractions.
Some people never call (oh well). Some just text.
When people do call, I enjoy it. It's a little surprise in the day, like getting a spontaneous call from a friend. Since it's on the phone, I can go outside and take a walk and not feel stuck to my screen.
Not everyone loves this response. A couple of people seemed to get offended. It's funny how people look at scheduling a call like it's a god-given right these days.
I'm a recovering people pleaser, and I'm still not great at saying no, so this has taken a lot of practice. It always hurts a little in the moment to have to say no, but then all I have to do is look at my wide-open calendar, smell the fresh air I’m getting to enjoy while I’m NOT on Zoom calls, and feel immense gratitude for my past self who had the courage to say no.
Remember that saying yes to something is saying no to something else. If I say yes to a call, I'm saying no to another 30 minutes of uninterrupted writing, walking in the woods, or sitting still and observing my thoughts.
Say no to calls so you can say yes to the rest of your life.
Rule #3: If you have to schedule a call, be extremely efficient
Of course, sometimes, you have to schedule the call.
The #1 reason that I book calls is if they're paid. I'm currently working with three clients. For each client, I do two calls (one hour each) per month, sometimes more. These calls are scheduled out biweekly.
And you know what? I love these calls! In extreme moderation, I don’t mind Zoom. I love my clients. Our conversations are focused, productive, and mentally stimulating. Most of my writing ideas come from my consulting.
Consulting is also my primary source of income. Childcare ain’t cheap, I gotta get paid.
Other reasons I'll schedule a call:
If I'm the one reaching out to someone else for help, I respect their boundaries around calls and will schedule one if that's what they want
If it's someone I really want to talk to, and the only way to talk to them is if I schedule something
If I'm close to closing a client, and I need to schedule a call with them to get them over the finish line
If it's a podcast interview or a speaking gig
Whenever I schedule a call, I'm extremely intentional about it. I keep them as short as possible. I've found that most calls can be 15 minutes. I also make sure there's a clear agenda, and I'll send the agenda ahead of time.
If you’re working on a team, you need to get absolutely militant about this. If a meeting doesn’t have a clear goal and an agenda, it shouldn’t happen.
You can eliminate a significant amount of meeting time by asking people to type up their goals, questions, and proposed solutions first. Either you’ll find that a meeting isn’t necessary, or you can shorten the meeting now that you have so much context.
This process has been nothing short of life-changing for me.
I have so much more time to write, to think, and to get work done. I feel energized and creative. Sometimes on my walks, I’ll give a friend a call randomly and have delightful, spontaneous conversations. We need fluidity in our lives. We need openness. We need to quit our damn calendars!
Y’all, I’m telling you. If meetings are wearing you thin, it’s time you implement your own Calendar Defense System. Your new life awaits you.
Give it a shot and let me know how it goes. You can book a time with me here.
A big thank you to Sasha Podolsky, Amir Shevat, Tyrone Freely, Nikki Thibodeau, Megan Berry, Rutuja Nirdhar, and Ash Phillips for your thoughtful feedback on this article.
For further reading on how to get out of the meeting hellhole, here are two examples of companies that cut meetings altogether:
The Secret to an In Sync Startup? Ditch Your Meetings and Try an Asynchronous Culture - First Round Review
No Meetings, No Deadlines, No Full-Time Employees - Sahil Lavingia (Sahil was one of my inspirations for my no meetings policy)
Brilliant advice here. 🙏 Defer to digital! Then go organic voice. Then go scheduled but highly focused voice and video.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I would be curious to hear how you might apply this to in-person community building. I find that I am often pulled to want to set up in person connects with new members of the community I am building but then also pulled to protecting my energy so I can focus on building the community.
How have you balanced building communities with participating in them?