I loved loved loved this. In my group of friends we call the lost feeling 'being stuck in the goo' and it's taken me a while to accept that to get out I maybe need to slow down and stop struggling to find an answer quickly. Maybe being stuck is what I need to find the time to really think forward?
Makes me think of quicksand where the more you struggle and fight, the quicker you sink, giving you less space to find a way forward. But being still gives you the time and space to see what solutions emerge.
Loved this post, David. As someone that has bought (and referenced countless times!) your book and known you in the early days of CMX, I have enjoyed following your downshift journey. It's brave to figure this out in public and I admire it.
This resonates with me, especially:" Most of us shape our careers based on fear—fear of rejection, insecurity, conflict." That is me, except mine is based around financial security. I don't feel like I have the option to shift or change because my family relies on my income and working in community / tech provides that for me.
I realize this is probably as massive limiting belief, but as a parent and busy working mom I have limited time to even work on my mindset to begin with. However, I have tried 10 min of meditating a day! Even a little bit helps and maybe I can make that shift one day :)
Thanks so much for this reflection Lizzie. I feel a lot of gratitude for you witnessing such a large part of my journey, and sticking around for the messy parts.
I can totally understand and relate to your situation. I have struggles with this as well. I feel very privileged to have been able to take this time to work on myself, though it did come with financial risk and sacrifice.
One way to explore this question around money is asking yourself, where is the truth and where is the story?
In my experience, and the experience of many of my clients, we tend to tell ourselves stories about what we can or can’t do due to money limitations. So a good step is to spend the time to uncover what the reality is, in order to reveal where the stories that aren’t necessarily true are keeping us stuck. The reality is things like how much you have saved, what your burn is, how much income is coming in, etc. Working with a financial advisor can be helpful. Then, once you have your reality, you can make the decision about how much you’re willing to invest into your heart and soul, which could mean spending money, or forgoing income, in order to give yourself the space.
One more thought: I know a lot of people who are heavily invested in their consciousness journeys while still employed at tech companies. I think starting small is perfect. And then as you find your energy drawn to certain practices and people, you can identify ways to incorporate it more deeply into your life, and carve out more time where needed. Asking my wife for support has been critical too. It’s her support and blessing that allows me to go do a multi day retreat, so that I can come back and be a better father and partner.
Hope those reflections are helpful. I don’t mean them as advice. Just to share my experience.
Thank you for such a thoughtful reply! I think you really touched on something with the stories we tell ourselves. I tend to ruminate and obsess / worry about different themes in my life and money is one of them. Ruminating easily turns into a narrative that gets put on repeat in my head. And much of the narrative is false or a form of catastrophizing. Mindfulness is definitely helping with this as well as exploring Internal Family Systems therapy. I'll take your words to heart, thank you again for the reply.
I loved all of this sooooo much. Especially this – "Burnout isn’t just about working too much. It’s a symptom of misalignment. It’s the result of spending years ignoring your heart and soul." Thank you for sharing a deeper look into the journey that brought you to where you are today. Hope to see you soon!
Fantastic insights, as usual, David! I encountered exactly what you are talking about--the sudden, foreign, bewildering burn out in another life, many, many years ago as a competitive, division one athlete. It was my whole world, and identity and passion since being a little kid and then suddenly my sophomore year of college it turned completely upside down and I couldn't figure it out. I was miserable. The passion was gone. And looking back I am sure it was total burnout from burning the midnight oil for so long. Anyhow, my point is, Downshift applies to so much in our lives--including athletes. Thanks as always for sharing so honestly and insightfully! Always look forward to your posts!
I can only imagine how hard this is for athletes when life shifts and their sport is no longer their path. Something about it being physical makes it even more pronounced.
I loved loved loved this. In my group of friends we call the lost feeling 'being stuck in the goo' and it's taken me a while to accept that to get out I maybe need to slow down and stop struggling to find an answer quickly. Maybe being stuck is what I need to find the time to really think forward?
Love the goo!
Makes me think of quicksand where the more you struggle and fight, the quicker you sink, giving you less space to find a way forward. But being still gives you the time and space to see what solutions emerge.
Exactly that!
I’m glad you found a way to pause and refresh. I went on a similar journey.
https://my-thoughts-are-not-my-own.com/blog/2021/10/09/a-disconnected-existence/
Loved this post, David. As someone that has bought (and referenced countless times!) your book and known you in the early days of CMX, I have enjoyed following your downshift journey. It's brave to figure this out in public and I admire it.
This resonates with me, especially:" Most of us shape our careers based on fear—fear of rejection, insecurity, conflict." That is me, except mine is based around financial security. I don't feel like I have the option to shift or change because my family relies on my income and working in community / tech provides that for me.
I realize this is probably as massive limiting belief, but as a parent and busy working mom I have limited time to even work on my mindset to begin with. However, I have tried 10 min of meditating a day! Even a little bit helps and maybe I can make that shift one day :)
Thanks so much for this reflection Lizzie. I feel a lot of gratitude for you witnessing such a large part of my journey, and sticking around for the messy parts.
I can totally understand and relate to your situation. I have struggles with this as well. I feel very privileged to have been able to take this time to work on myself, though it did come with financial risk and sacrifice.
One way to explore this question around money is asking yourself, where is the truth and where is the story?
In my experience, and the experience of many of my clients, we tend to tell ourselves stories about what we can or can’t do due to money limitations. So a good step is to spend the time to uncover what the reality is, in order to reveal where the stories that aren’t necessarily true are keeping us stuck. The reality is things like how much you have saved, what your burn is, how much income is coming in, etc. Working with a financial advisor can be helpful. Then, once you have your reality, you can make the decision about how much you’re willing to invest into your heart and soul, which could mean spending money, or forgoing income, in order to give yourself the space.
One more thought: I know a lot of people who are heavily invested in their consciousness journeys while still employed at tech companies. I think starting small is perfect. And then as you find your energy drawn to certain practices and people, you can identify ways to incorporate it more deeply into your life, and carve out more time where needed. Asking my wife for support has been critical too. It’s her support and blessing that allows me to go do a multi day retreat, so that I can come back and be a better father and partner.
Hope those reflections are helpful. I don’t mean them as advice. Just to share my experience.
Thank you for such a thoughtful reply! I think you really touched on something with the stories we tell ourselves. I tend to ruminate and obsess / worry about different themes in my life and money is one of them. Ruminating easily turns into a narrative that gets put on repeat in my head. And much of the narrative is false or a form of catastrophizing. Mindfulness is definitely helping with this as well as exploring Internal Family Systems therapy. I'll take your words to heart, thank you again for the reply.
Truly resonate 🙏
I loved all of this sooooo much. Especially this – "Burnout isn’t just about working too much. It’s a symptom of misalignment. It’s the result of spending years ignoring your heart and soul." Thank you for sharing a deeper look into the journey that brought you to where you are today. Hope to see you soon!
Thanks Nikki! Glad this resonated.
Fantastic insights, as usual, David! I encountered exactly what you are talking about--the sudden, foreign, bewildering burn out in another life, many, many years ago as a competitive, division one athlete. It was my whole world, and identity and passion since being a little kid and then suddenly my sophomore year of college it turned completely upside down and I couldn't figure it out. I was miserable. The passion was gone. And looking back I am sure it was total burnout from burning the midnight oil for so long. Anyhow, my point is, Downshift applies to so much in our lives--including athletes. Thanks as always for sharing so honestly and insightfully! Always look forward to your posts!
I can only imagine how hard this is for athletes when life shifts and their sport is no longer their path. Something about it being physical makes it even more pronounced.
Thank you! I needed this today.
So happy to hear it found you at the right time Diana
Lots of wisdom in here. Thanks David.