Really love this terminology of Dirty and Clean fuels. I'm newly 30 and have been doing an existential "check-in"...the whole how did I get here? Do I want to be here? Where am I going? type of thing. I've definitely come across some dirty fuel and I appreciate your thoughts on the topic. Looking forward to reading on!
I've been aware that a lot of my ambition and success seeking was fuelled by my early childhood and wanting to "prove myself" to people from my past.
That point of "I am enough" is kind of magical, but it was also confusing. Thanks for sharing the answer you got and how you've been leaning into the clean fuel too!
Totally get this! The drive is the strive. And when you let go of the need to prove there is a definite shift needed to find the next intrinsic motivator. I keep on going back to, and sending on to passionate/activist/changemaking mates in their late 40's going through this exact thing. It's time to shift from being the change to being the teacher, mentor, cheerleader, enabler.
That shift from “do’er” to teacher has been a journey for me. It’s taken work to let go of the stories that teaching and coaching doesn’t hold as much value as doing/building. I noticed myself believing the old “those who can’t do, teach” saying.
I love this man. This has been a big part of my process over the last several years - first, identifying that my fuel was in fact dirty, then working to discover what clean fuel looks like, and what the work looks like that's an expression of that.
You articulate the journey well here Devin. And in my experience, it goes in exactly that order, and you can’t skip a step, no matter how slow it goes.
Also… I have been wondering lately if labeling these fuels as “dirty” is itself a judgment that misses on their utility. Fear, after all, I’d another expression of love.
This is a great point. Is naming them dirty the equivalent of calling a part “bad”?
Perhaps a reframe here could be that the “dirty” fuel is how we can describe the part’s motivation when it’s below the line / in a place of suffering. And clean fuel is when a part feels unburdened and coming from a place of love and enoughness.
Really love this terminology of Dirty and Clean fuels. I'm newly 30 and have been doing an existential "check-in"...the whole how did I get here? Do I want to be here? Where am I going? type of thing. I've definitely come across some dirty fuel and I appreciate your thoughts on the topic. Looking forward to reading on!
Love that you’re doing this checkin will!
I've been aware that a lot of my ambition and success seeking was fuelled by my early childhood and wanting to "prove myself" to people from my past.
That point of "I am enough" is kind of magical, but it was also confusing. Thanks for sharing the answer you got and how you've been leaning into the clean fuel too!
I’ve always struggled with applying “not enoughness” until I started to really *feel* it. And then I was like ohhhhhh
Totally get this! The drive is the strive. And when you let go of the need to prove there is a definite shift needed to find the next intrinsic motivator. I keep on going back to, and sending on to passionate/activist/changemaking mates in their late 40's going through this exact thing. It's time to shift from being the change to being the teacher, mentor, cheerleader, enabler.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/07/work-peak-professional-decline/590650/
Thank you Kate!
That shift from “do’er” to teacher has been a journey for me. It’s taken work to let go of the stories that teaching and coaching doesn’t hold as much value as doing/building. I noticed myself believing the old “those who can’t do, teach” saying.
I love this man. This has been a big part of my process over the last several years - first, identifying that my fuel was in fact dirty, then working to discover what clean fuel looks like, and what the work looks like that's an expression of that.
You articulate the journey well here Devin. And in my experience, it goes in exactly that order, and you can’t skip a step, no matter how slow it goes.
100%
Also… I have been wondering lately if labeling these fuels as “dirty” is itself a judgment that misses on their utility. Fear, after all, I’d another expression of love.
This is a great point. Is naming them dirty the equivalent of calling a part “bad”?
Perhaps a reframe here could be that the “dirty” fuel is how we can describe the part’s motivation when it’s below the line / in a place of suffering. And clean fuel is when a part feels unburdened and coming from a place of love and enoughness.
Curious how that lands for you.
I think that’s right! And the analogy to calling a part bad is spot on.
Nailed it 👏
🙌 I love this podcast episode on being motivated by fear, prospect, duty, and love. https://open.spotify.com/episode/1iE5vFTA463LqVGrtpuDyn?si=fk4-RlWCRyGP5Th-kHmNZw
Ohhh excited to listen!