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Sally Rumble's avatar

David! This essay and testimony makes me feel warm! That's my new word to describe everything that pleases me. I got it from watching an episode of Dating on the Spectrum.

I never thought of it as downshifting but yes, I am on the other side of a downshift and it definitely was not linear. The word I've been using is "unsubscribing" from toxic work culture which I realize is a negative spin on transitioning but it seems to be the fastest way for others to understand the choices I've made. So what have I learned? SO MUCH but here are a few standouts:

1. You are NOT what you do. You are so much more.

2. Modern work culture is predominantly focused on productivity and efficiency which humans cannot sustain without burning out.

3. The richest people in the world are those who manage their own time. I'm very happy to say I've been owning mine for 4 years now.

4. You'll know you're on the right path when your next "thing" finds you, rather than the other way around. This might also be called serendipity but in my case there's no way I'd be where I am today if I hadn't stopped and really done the inner work. Financial insecurity is what I was scared of most but I ultimately decided to bet on myself. And after two years downshifting, I knew I was enough.

5. Trust yourself (and the universe.)

There's so much more I could say...thank you for opening this space, David! The loneliness has been real.

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Taya's avatar

Thank you for your writing, David! I just discovered you as a result of my screaming into the void, 'Is there anyone else going through this stuff, ot is it just me?! Helloooo?'

1. Learning to let go of the idea that I HAVE TO figure out what to do next immediately (or soon; or at all). These attempts to craft the next steps right away were met with such internal resistance that somehow intensified the hollowing out, like an excavator on steroids. I had to stop, as uncomfortable as it was.

2. I really like this differentiation between burning out and hollowing out. The advice you get on the former usually revolves around how to get the fuel back in — so you have something to burn away again. That drives any self-discovery into a very narrow space, and I'd probably find myself in the same (or worse) spot a few months later.

3. A ridiculous (as I see now) fear that people love me for my professional success. And being completely alone in this process (this one is still highly relevant).

4. A wordgasm for a wordgasm: dentures should be called substitooths (credit for this one goes to @dadsaysjokes)

5. Where are you finding communities to go through this process? What people are inspiring you at the moment? Any practices that you are finding helpful?

What's helping me:

- Fermenting food: creative + low-effort + delicious + healthy

- Allowing project ideas to resurface: persue them but not putting pressure on them to be my 'next thing'. Just doing what feels natural right now, and leaving space for nothingness.

- Talking through this process and the projects I am trying out with close friends: even without the external validation, saying things out loud helps to realize I am not crazy, this is a healthy, much needed process that is valid regardless of the outcome

- In my daily writing, asking myself: what do I want? Interesting things emerge after a few times. (David, I think you advised that, I can't remember.)

- Singing combined with body therapy

- Reading

- Using any opportunity to listen to my intuition, no matter how small the choice is

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