David! This essay and testimony makes me feel warm! That's my new word to describe everything that pleases me. I got it from watching an episode of Dating on the Spectrum.
I never thought of it as downshifting but yes, I am on the other side of a downshift and it definitely was not linear. The word I've been using is "unsubscribing" from toxic work culture which I realize is a negative spin on transitioning but it seems to be the fastest way for others to understand the choices I've made. So what have I learned? SO MUCH but here are a few standouts:
1. You are NOT what you do. You are so much more.
2. Modern work culture is predominantly focused on productivity and efficiency which humans cannot sustain without burning out.
3. The richest people in the world are those who manage their own time. I'm very happy to say I've been owning mine for 4 years now.
4. You'll know you're on the right path when your next "thing" finds you, rather than the other way around. This might also be called serendipity but in my case there's no way I'd be where I am today if I hadn't stopped and really done the inner work. Financial insecurity is what I was scared of most but I ultimately decided to bet on myself. And after two years downshifting, I knew I was enough.
5. Trust yourself (and the universe.)
There's so much more I could say...thank you for opening this space, David! The loneliness has been real.
Thank you for your writing, David! I just discovered you as a result of my screaming into the void, 'Is there anyone else going through this stuff, ot is it just me?! Helloooo?'
1. Learning to let go of the idea that I HAVE TO figure out what to do next immediately (or soon; or at all). These attempts to craft the next steps right away were met with such internal resistance that somehow intensified the hollowing out, like an excavator on steroids. I had to stop, as uncomfortable as it was.
2. I really like this differentiation between burning out and hollowing out. The advice you get on the former usually revolves around how to get the fuel back in — so you have something to burn away again. That drives any self-discovery into a very narrow space, and I'd probably find myself in the same (or worse) spot a few months later.
3. A ridiculous (as I see now) fear that people love me for my professional success. And being completely alone in this process (this one is still highly relevant).
4. A wordgasm for a wordgasm: dentures should be called substitooths (credit for this one goes to @dadsaysjokes)
5. Where are you finding communities to go through this process? What people are inspiring you at the moment? Any practices that you are finding helpful?
- Allowing project ideas to resurface: persue them but not putting pressure on them to be my 'next thing'. Just doing what feels natural right now, and leaving space for nothingness.
- Talking through this process and the projects I am trying out with close friends: even without the external validation, saying things out loud helps to realize I am not crazy, this is a healthy, much needed process that is valid regardless of the outcome
- In my daily writing, asking myself: what do I want? Interesting things emerge after a few times. (David, I think you advised that, I can't remember.)
- Singing combined with body therapy
- Reading
- Using any opportunity to listen to my intuition, no matter how small the choice is
I have already felt like that hollowing out, and meditation and thoughtful friends have helped a lot in those times.
And I'm not sure it's the right frame of mind, but I'm wondering what it would look like if we downshifted collectively to start moving towards new transitions (e.g., ecological transition, 4-hour work weeks, Universal Basic Incomes...) that we are currently resisting to continue pushing towards more and more performance.
Thanks for this David, it couldn't have come at a better time.
My last "downshift" was a sabbatical in 2019. I moved to Barcelona to see if I would enjoy living here. Now it's been 5 years and I'm still falling in love with the city more and more every day. I learned how rewarding it can be to uproot your life and start over in a new location. I learned that where we live impacts all other aspects of our lives from our mood, to our health and relationships and so on.
After the pandemic I started working for remote startups in the US and since then I've been jumping on every opportunity that comes my way. I was "over-employed" for about 6 months working two full time remote jobs, that was fun :)
I do feel I've become a little hollowed out over the last year. I think it means it's time to downshift again, thanks for the glimpse into what’s possible.
This is such a great description of a really important process.
I’m curious if you have any thoughts or feelings about the term “workaholism” and if or how that may dovetail with “high achievers”?
Would you equate “down shifting” with recovering from workaholism? Do you find the the notion/framework of work as an addiction as helpful or unhelpful? Has this been a part of your process at all or did downshifting feel different in important and meaningful ways?
This issue speaks volumes to me, my friend. I know I got connected to you a few years ago when I was working on ramping up my Onboard Health community.
For a lot of us who have pioneered platforms, communities and have been in the spotlight -- this is what we need to read. Definitely will be sharing widely.
I really enjoyed this- I am attempting to unravel my alpha high achieving coding with a clunky family motto that my children know I only half believe- 'a little bit average is a lot more happy'.
The drive to contribute at your capacity feels like a moral imperative to me. Not doing it is therefore.......? Immoral?
Unravelling that story for me is a big project of separating 'achieving' from 'contributing'.
One is ego/extrinsic. The other is.../intrinsic....
What is the opposite of ego in this realm? It's not humility- I can't wrap my head around it yet- but it feels like the missing piece of the jigsaw for me.
Loved your piece. And your writing generally. Thanks.
David! This essay and testimony makes me feel warm! That's my new word to describe everything that pleases me. I got it from watching an episode of Dating on the Spectrum.
I never thought of it as downshifting but yes, I am on the other side of a downshift and it definitely was not linear. The word I've been using is "unsubscribing" from toxic work culture which I realize is a negative spin on transitioning but it seems to be the fastest way for others to understand the choices I've made. So what have I learned? SO MUCH but here are a few standouts:
1. You are NOT what you do. You are so much more.
2. Modern work culture is predominantly focused on productivity and efficiency which humans cannot sustain without burning out.
3. The richest people in the world are those who manage their own time. I'm very happy to say I've been owning mine for 4 years now.
4. You'll know you're on the right path when your next "thing" finds you, rather than the other way around. This might also be called serendipity but in my case there's no way I'd be where I am today if I hadn't stopped and really done the inner work. Financial insecurity is what I was scared of most but I ultimately decided to bet on myself. And after two years downshifting, I knew I was enough.
5. Trust yourself (and the universe.)
There's so much more I could say...thank you for opening this space, David! The loneliness has been real.
Thank you for your writing, David! I just discovered you as a result of my screaming into the void, 'Is there anyone else going through this stuff, ot is it just me?! Helloooo?'
1. Learning to let go of the idea that I HAVE TO figure out what to do next immediately (or soon; or at all). These attempts to craft the next steps right away were met with such internal resistance that somehow intensified the hollowing out, like an excavator on steroids. I had to stop, as uncomfortable as it was.
2. I really like this differentiation between burning out and hollowing out. The advice you get on the former usually revolves around how to get the fuel back in — so you have something to burn away again. That drives any self-discovery into a very narrow space, and I'd probably find myself in the same (or worse) spot a few months later.
3. A ridiculous (as I see now) fear that people love me for my professional success. And being completely alone in this process (this one is still highly relevant).
4. A wordgasm for a wordgasm: dentures should be called substitooths (credit for this one goes to @dadsaysjokes)
5. Where are you finding communities to go through this process? What people are inspiring you at the moment? Any practices that you are finding helpful?
What's helping me:
- Fermenting food: creative + low-effort + delicious + healthy
- Allowing project ideas to resurface: persue them but not putting pressure on them to be my 'next thing'. Just doing what feels natural right now, and leaving space for nothingness.
- Talking through this process and the projects I am trying out with close friends: even without the external validation, saying things out loud helps to realize I am not crazy, this is a healthy, much needed process that is valid regardless of the outcome
- In my daily writing, asking myself: what do I want? Interesting things emerge after a few times. (David, I think you advised that, I can't remember.)
- Singing combined with body therapy
- Reading
- Using any opportunity to listen to my intuition, no matter how small the choice is
Very grateful for this article David.
I have already felt like that hollowing out, and meditation and thoughtful friends have helped a lot in those times.
And I'm not sure it's the right frame of mind, but I'm wondering what it would look like if we downshifted collectively to start moving towards new transitions (e.g., ecological transition, 4-hour work weeks, Universal Basic Incomes...) that we are currently resisting to continue pushing towards more and more performance.
Thanks for this David, it couldn't have come at a better time.
My last "downshift" was a sabbatical in 2019. I moved to Barcelona to see if I would enjoy living here. Now it's been 5 years and I'm still falling in love with the city more and more every day. I learned how rewarding it can be to uproot your life and start over in a new location. I learned that where we live impacts all other aspects of our lives from our mood, to our health and relationships and so on.
After the pandemic I started working for remote startups in the US and since then I've been jumping on every opportunity that comes my way. I was "over-employed" for about 6 months working two full time remote jobs, that was fun :)
I do feel I've become a little hollowed out over the last year. I think it means it's time to downshift again, thanks for the glimpse into what’s possible.
This is such a great description of a really important process.
I’m curious if you have any thoughts or feelings about the term “workaholism” and if or how that may dovetail with “high achievers”?
Would you equate “down shifting” with recovering from workaholism? Do you find the the notion/framework of work as an addiction as helpful or unhelpful? Has this been a part of your process at all or did downshifting feel different in important and meaningful ways?
Oddly, running fast can hold you back.
https://my-thoughts-are-not-my-own.com/blog/2021/10/09/a-disconnected-existence/
David --
This issue speaks volumes to me, my friend. I know I got connected to you a few years ago when I was working on ramping up my Onboard Health community.
For a lot of us who have pioneered platforms, communities and have been in the spotlight -- this is what we need to read. Definitely will be sharing widely.
Appreciate you!
André
I really enjoyed this- I am attempting to unravel my alpha high achieving coding with a clunky family motto that my children know I only half believe- 'a little bit average is a lot more happy'.
The drive to contribute at your capacity feels like a moral imperative to me. Not doing it is therefore.......? Immoral?
Unravelling that story for me is a big project of separating 'achieving' from 'contributing'.
One is ego/extrinsic. The other is.../intrinsic....
What is the opposite of ego in this realm? It's not humility- I can't wrap my head around it yet- but it feels like the missing piece of the jigsaw for me.
Loved your piece. And your writing generally. Thanks.